Spring is in the Air

...and I'm in the mood for change, uplifting change. I've wanted to change the template of my blog for a while. And so I've made a start. It is a work in progress. You may see changes from time to time, as I settle into what I like, including moving the title around on the banner. I seem to have forgotten how to do that, if I ever knew. Change and learning sometimes progress slowly. But usually there is a point at which it picks up speed. You've got it. You can see the light and everything you need to know finally comes together for the finish.

A tattered Morning Cloak, one of our first butterflies to fly in the spring after they overwinter under loose bark or hidden in crevices.

Yesterday I listened to an Eastern Phoebe sing his heart out, over and over again. I hope that song is about his intentions to nest nearby, maybe on a plank shelf under the deck gazebo. For a few minutes, he landed on one of the support posts and looked at me from a nearly upside-down position singing all the while.
And then there's my bluebird box. The one that's fresh and new with its shiny predator guard beckoning a new family to come check it out and move in. I hold my breath every time I see an Eastern Bluebird in the yard. A male landed near me while I was watching the phoebe.

These are all signs of renewal and hope. But I'm going to mix in another kind of story, a sad story, one that at its heart, touches us all. At the suggestion of a friend, I emailed this story to the White House yesterday and to Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. Each time I reviewed my letter's message and sent it off, I cried again. I'm starting to cry now. But it will pass. Each tear helps.

Because I devote my blog to my love for art, nature and the creative spirit, most of you don't know I'm a mental health professional or that I've worked in the healthcare industry for thirty-plus years, or that I have been a leader in social work organizations and the editor of a national healthcare newsletter. And so now you have the background for what I am about to say and soon you will know the tragedy that my family has recently faced.

Our national leaders are grappling with the decisions of healthcare reform and I personally don't think it matters how that reform is achieved. It matters that it happens. It matters that the individual is empowered again, empowered to choose affordable healthcare options that will help during unpredictable times.

In December my brother learned that his back pain was actually a failing kidney. By the time my sister and I learned of it, it was late January and his pain had become intolerable. On March 3rd he took his own life. The letter below is my brother's story. I have written it to honor his life and as a plea to our nation's leaders to untie the knots that are blocking our nation's healthcare reform.

After you read it, pass it along to others and, above all, please tell your state's law makers that you're behind healthcare change and eager for it to go forward.

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My letter to the White House:

As a Clinical Social Worker in private practice I have watched our nation’s healthcare system disintegrate for the past 30 yrs. Having been the former editor for the Managed Care News, published by the National Federation of Clinical Social Workers, this has not been just a casual or anecdotal observation.

Recently this broken system has tragically touched my life. On March 3rd, my brother shot and killed himself. He was 57.

He had been laid-off and was facing the end of his unemployment benefit at the same time he was dealing with severe pain and weakness due to a failing kidney. He did not agree to hospitalization for obvious reasons.

He had no insurance and was using a credit card to pay for medical care with the minimum monthly payment rapidly approaching an amount he couldn’t pay. He applied for a line of credit on the equity in his house but was denied due to unemployment.

My sister helped him with online aide applications the Saturday before he died. We know that he received two calls regarding disability and medical aide on the following Monday, the content of which is unknown to us. His unaware neighbor witnessed his one-page will on that same Monday. He shot himself on Wednesday morning in his front yard, with his driver's license and a note to police in his pocket, telling them who to contact, how to get into his house if needed, and asking them to please be kind to his dogs, that they were gentle. In a note to family he explained that he could no longer stand the pain.

His death was not impulsive or driven by delusions. It was well thought-out and considerate to those he loved, as considerate as such a circumstance can be. When I can think beyond my own grief, I know that he would have suffered even more had his life continued.

I am still sorting out his death in my mind and wondering why our country can't do something intelligent with healthcare. By the time my brother realized how ill he was, he was trapped with nowhere to turn and no time. Not even the house that he worked hard to free of debt could assist him in his time of need.

There will always be suffering, pain, death. We cannot prevent that. But surely we have the intelligence and resources in this country to create a compassionate healthcare system, one that can link people to private and public resources in a timely manner, one that can help them live their final hours in dignity and hope.

Vickie Henderson, LCSW
Knoxville, Tennessee

John B. Henderson, III

Related Links on Healthcare:

For news on the House's historic vote on the healthcare bill see Politics Daily

Click here for the White House's news on Healthcare; and here to email the Whitehouse on Healthcare.
Also visit Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. Her page includes many helpful links that will inform you about the progress of healthcare reform. To contact the Speaker, click 'contact us' on the top tool bar.