Saturday, March 20, 2010

Spring is in the Air

...and I'm in the mood for change, uplifting change. I've wanted to change the template of my blog for a while. And so I've made a start. It is a work in progress. You may see changes from time to time, as I settle into what I like, including moving the title around on the banner. I seem to have forgotten how to do that, if I ever knew. Change and learning sometimes progress slowly. But usually there is a point at which it picks up speed. You've got it. You can see the light and everything you need to know finally comes together for the finish.

A tattered Morning Cloak, one of our first butterflies to fly in the spring after they overwinter under loose bark or hidden in crevices.


Yesterday I listened to an Eastern Phoebe sing his heart out, over and over again. I hope that song is about his intentions to nest nearby, maybe on a plank shelf under the deck gazebo. For a few minutes, he landed on one of the support posts and looked at me from a nearly upside-down position singing all the while.
And then there's my bluebird box. The one that's fresh and new with its shiny predator guard beckoning a new family to come check it out and move in. I hold my breath every time I see an Eastern Bluebird in the yard. A male landed near me while I was watching the phoebe.
These are all signs of renewal and hope. But I'm going to mix in another kind of story, a sad story, one that at its heart, touches us all. At the suggestion of a friend, I emailed this story to the White House yesterday and to Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. Each time I reviewed my letter's message and sent it off, I cried again. I'm starting to cry now. But it will pass. Each tear helps.

Because I devote my blog to my love for art, nature and the creative spirit, most of you don't know I'm a mental health professional or that I've worked in the healthcare industry for thirty-plus years, or that I have been a leader in social work organizations and the editor of a national healthcare newsletter. And so now you have the background for what I am about to say and soon you will know the tragedy that my family has recently faced.

Our national leaders are grappling with the decisions of healthcare reform and I personally don't think it matters how that reform is achieved. It matters that it happens. It matters that the individual is empowered again, empowered to choose affordable healthcare options that will help during unpredictable times.

In December my brother learned that his back pain was actually a failing kidney. By the time my sister and I learned of it, it was late January and his pain had become intolerable. On March 3rd he took his own life. The letter below is my brother's story. I have written it to honor his life and as a plea to our nation's leaders to untie the knots that are blocking our nation's healthcare reform.

After you read it, pass it along to others and, above all, please tell your state's law makers that you're behind healthcare change and eager for it to go forward.

*************************************************************************************
My letter to the White House:

As a Clinical Social Worker in private practice I have watched our nation’s healthcare system disintegrate for the past 30 yrs. Having been the former editor for the Managed Care News, published by the National Federation of Clinical Social Workers, this has not been just a casual or anecdotal observation.

Recently this broken system has tragically touched my life. On March 3rd, my brother shot and killed himself. He was 57.

He had been laid-off and was facing the end of his unemployment benefit at the same time he was dealing with severe pain and weakness due to a failing kidney. He did not agree to hospitalization for obvious reasons.

He had no insurance and was using a credit card to pay for medical care with the minimum monthly payment rapidly approaching an amount he couldn’t pay. He applied for a line of credit on the equity in his house but was denied due to unemployment.

My sister helped him with online aide applications the Saturday before he died. We know that he received two calls regarding disability and medical aide on the following Monday, the content of which is unknown to us. His unaware neighbor witnessed his one-page will on that same Monday. He shot himself on Wednesday morning in his front yard, with his driver's license and a note to police in his pocket, telling them who to contact, how to get into his house if needed, and asking them to please be kind to his dogs, that they were gentle. In a note to family he explained that he could no longer stand the pain.

His death was not impulsive or driven by delusions. It was well thought-out and considerate to those he loved, as considerate as such a circumstance can be. When I can think beyond my own grief, I know that he would have suffered even more had his life continued.

I am still sorting out his death in my mind and wondering why our country can't do something intelligent with healthcare. By the time my brother realized how ill he was, he was trapped with nowhere to turn and no time. Not even the house that he worked hard to free of debt could assist him in his time of need.

There will always be suffering, pain, death. We cannot prevent that. But surely we have the intelligence and resources in this country to create a compassionate healthcare system, one that can link people to private and public resources in a timely manner, one that can help them live their final hours in dignity and hope.

Vickie Henderson, LCSW
Knoxville, Tennessee

John B. Henderson, III

Related Links on Healthcare:
For news on the House's historic vote on the healthcare bill see Politics Daily
Click here for the White House's news on Healthcare; and here to email the Whitehouse on Healthcare.
Also visit Speaker of the House,
Nancy Pelosi. Her page includes many helpful links that will inform you about the progress of healthcare reform. To contact the Speaker, click 'contact us' on the top tool bar.

19 comments:

  1. Vickie my Dear, I am infinitely sorry at the death of your brother s early in life when so very obviously just the removal of the diseased kidney would also have removed the excruciating pain.

    It is indeed an indictement on society when you can spend massive amounts on wars foreign aid and leave the people who fill your coffers with the taxes they pay, to despair and suicide.

    Love and blessings to you and all who loved your brother in this sad, sad time.

    Arija

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Vickie, what a terrible tragedy! My very best wishes and sincere sympathy are sent to you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Vickie..
    I am soo sorry for your loss! How terribly tragic. So glad you wrote to the white house about this..
    I am crossing my fingers for tomorrows vote and what happens after.
    Again, so sorry!

    ReplyDelete
  4. THank you, I am sending a letter to Nancy Pelosi, Mitch McConnell (may he be denied insurance) and my senators and congressmen. This is a major concern of mine, and when I hear Republicans say "Americans do not want this socialized healthcare reform," I want to shake them by the neck and say: you're right. Because this isn't. We want single payer! Peace to you.

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  5. Vickie, it was so sad hearing of your brother's death. I'm sure you've been hugged many times since then; here's one more, albeit virtually.
    Hopefully our "leaders" will demonstrate some courage and do what needs to be done to prevent this type of desperation.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Vickie, so sorry to hear about your brother. I'm glad you wrote to the white house and hope our current health care situation improves to prevent more such tragedies.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh how sad, Vickie, how sad. I had kitney infections and colics for 12years...a pain that sometimes seemed to be unbearable.Thanks to God and the healthcare I am healed now.
    As much as I love to live here in the US this is something that makes me angry. I don't want to idealize my country but in Germany everybody has a health insurance - rich or poor, employed or unemployed. In my eyes the health system here is inhuman.
    Your brother must have felt very,very lonely in his last hours. I am so sorry...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Vickie, I am so sorry for this loss. You are so brave to share it and I hope that the people who matter listen. I am forwarding your blog post to my congressional representative who still appears to be an undecided vote despite phone calls from every member of my household. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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  9. What a sad story... I do hope America can get a health care bill passed soon. My sincere condolences to you and your family
    I came your way via Dawn. You have a beautiful blog.

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  10. Vickie, I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family. Hopefully the lawmakers will listen to these very personal stories and stop saying things like "Americans don't want this health care bill." I admire your strength and courage, and for speaking out on your brother's behalf. Blessings to you.

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  11. Hugs to you, Vicki. This is tragic news.

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  12. I am deeply sorry for your loss Vickie. My heart goes out to you and to your family.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Vickie, I sent a comment to you re. netblog, yet do not view it here. My heartfelt blessings reach out to you and your family. What a very tragic story your brother's life took. May you and yours find comfort in the days and weeks ahead. Even his favorites that he worried about in the end, I pray they have a good home together too. My heart aches for you. His story, your story, thank you for sharing it in such a touching and profound way~

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  14. Oh, Vickie. This is so heartbreaking, so horribly tragic and so unneccesary. And yet, the situation was real, urgent, pressing, and your brother died believing he had the only solution figured out. To turn this into action by giving his story to the government and to all of us shows incredible clarity and courage on your part. Thank you. Ears have been deaf to misery for far too long. Now they are forced to comply, if never to truly empathize. What a bittersweet morning for you this must be.

    A hug and heartfelt condolences to you.

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh, Vickie, I'm so terribly sorry. At the same time, I'm grateful to you for sharing it with those who worked for -- and against -- health insurance reform, and with us. You have my heartfelt gratitude and deepest sympathy.

    Molly

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  16. A heartfelt thank you to each and everyone of you who have responded to my blog post both publicly and privately, as well as, to those of you who shared its message with so many others.

    When I posted my brother's photo I could hear his baritone voice saying, "Naw, Vickie, don't put my photo on the internet." But when I saw the stat figures that told me his story had been viewed by more than 200 blog readers just about the same time that the House was casting its vote, in my mind’s eye, I could see that same grin cross his face and his eyes twinkle.

    There are many hurdles yet to cross, but the new healthcare bill offers hope and moves our country forward in the right direction, in a direction of community and compassion. It will take everyone’s effort to make it happen. But it gives my heart an enormous lift to envision this kinder, healthier America of the future.

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  17. Dearest Vickie. Thank you for posting your brothers story. Big hugs go to you and your family. You will be in my prayers.

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  18. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. It seems so senseless that your poor brother took his life because a healthcare system failed him. Prayers to you and your family and I pray that your Healthcare system changes for the better. I'm confused as to why Republicans wouldn't want a better Healthcare system in place??

    Here in Australia, we have public Healthcare for all as well as private Healthcare funding if people choose to opt for that instead. While our free public healthcare system may have its faults, it has been a Godsend for people needing medical attention, especially for those with limited financial resources. Yes, there are waiting lists for non-emergency surgeries but I'm sure your brother's condition would have been viewed as an emergency and he would have been put through quickly. Such a terrible tragedy. My heart goes out to you ~

    ReplyDelete

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For the Love of It...

...the sage sees heaven reflected in Nature as in a mirror, and he pursues this Art, not for the sake of gold or silver, but for the love of the knowledge which it reveals.
Sendivogius (1750)

Your Uncapped Creativity...

Your Uncapped Creativity...
"There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action; and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. If you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. You must keep that channel open. It is not for you to determine how good it is, nor how valuable. Nor how it compares with other expressions. It is for you to keep it yours, clearly and directly." ----the great dancer, Martha Graham